step no, step yes

just thinking - if i take a step back, should i take a bigger step forward? being alone for a while got me thinking about things - where i am now, what i should be doing already, what is left to be done. it struck me that im just all over the place. yes - i have planned my whole year already and yes - i will be flying out every month except (as of now) november but other than this, i got nothing.

and when you're at this low point and alone and nothing seems to make any sense, where do you turn to? what to do?

i eat ice cream. ha!

until i come back to my optimistic and fun self who embraces life and all the adventures and misses that comes with it. i go back to the reason why i chose my decisions, why i smile despite feeling shallow (hopeful that it will soon be a genuine smile).

that even if people continue to disappoint me, that the universe doesn't seem to conspire for things to go my way, that even if i keep denying some truths bec who the hell cares - this is me and i will hold my head up high, sing a tune, and smile.

and yes, still eat ice cream.